As the clock on human existence keeps ticking, so does the calendar year, marking the earthly passage of time. 2023, for me, has been more than a simple flip of some pages. It has been a voyage of discovery and learning, a broad canvas painted with the rich hues of human emotions. My odyssey began with my contribution to the global conversation, charted through the "These Fukken Feelings Podcast©," a platform that connected my truths to millions of listeners anxiously perched in the waiting rooms of enlightenment.
Each episode of this riveting narrative of feelings and experiences, broadcast from the cloistered interiors of my heart and mind, was akin to a sealed envelope of candid authenticity. Open to the world, they resonated with global audiences in pursuit of shared emotional journeys. However, every silver cloud of connection bears the stormy greyscale of criticism. The sharp, often caustic sting of critiques served as a harrowing reminder that the path of vulnerability – though a bridge to profound connections – can leave one fiercely exposed to rigid and merciless evaluations.
On the precipice of another chronological milestone, there is a gentle unearthing of a new journey called "Trauma is Expensive." This endeavor transcends the idea of a project; it morphs into a purpose—an unwavering mission: to explore and demystify the complex labyrinth of emotional scarring and illuminate the often-overlooked impacts inflicted on our delicate lives.
Throughout this year, transformative currents have flowed alongside me relentlessly, as steadfast as the patient pull of the tide. This constant force of change navigated me towards a reunion with a love that my heart had safeguarded in its deepest chambers. Against the familiar canvas of introspection, the bittersweet palette of past memories and future separations painted every moment. My best friend, an anchor of consistency, chose the path away, signaling an integral jostle in life's intricate web, where bliss and pain waltz in a delicate dance.
The tapestry of family ties saw bold, tumultuous strokes reflected in this year's familial journey, much like navigating treacherous waters when a storm dominates the skyline. Once silent personal boundaries announced their presence, unfurling a whirlwind of raw emotions that tossed us off the precipice of entrenched beliefs into the mysterious abyss of unexplored territories. But as the storm subsides, we discover a newfound serenity, a radiance of healing glimmers, gradually stitching disconnected threads into a holistic artwork of unity.
One particularly scathing chapter unfolded on the parched parchment of my experience was watching my adopted daughter, tethered to both of our hearts by bonds deeper than blood, wrestle with the fact that she is also losing her mentor and best friend. As I stood beside her— not to fill the empty shoes, but to be an unwavering pillar of support— my maternal love magnified and mirrored itself in her, both of us united in shared grief.
Meanwhile, the home hearth's flame braved her turmoil with a fortitude that left me both inspired and humbled. Her uncanny knack to mine the joy hidden within the darkest challenges shone like a beacon, lighting up any gloom that dared engulf.
And circling back to the eternal cornerstone of my life, my mother, laden with the battle scars of life, her resilient strength rings through the cacophony of adversities, unlocking a cascade of musings about the intricacies of life, the inevitable touch of mortality, and the higher powers that orchestrate the cosmic dance.
While my professional endeavors basked in the glow of success, the gritty reality of familial struggles cast its prolific shadow. The irony is palpable: advocating for mental health worldwide while battling the inability to soothe all wounds within my immediate circle—a silent burden languishing in my heart's quiet dormitories.
Parallelly, my internal odyssey was not without its share of storms and calms. From intense encounters with my identity's engrained nuances to the looming shadows of health scares, each passing day morphed into a stepping-stone on the winding path of self-discovery and radical acceptance of life's many shades.
And yet, every chapter of this year-long narrative was threaded with an overarching resonance of hope and optimism—a burst of resounding laughter shattering a bleak moment's peace, an unanticipated act of kindness blooming amidst the unforgiving concrete of adversity, and the pacifying solitude of a deep, deliberate breath.
As I invite you into the sanctum of the "These Fukken Feelings Podcast," I'm here at the dawn of 2024, changed—resiliently so—worn yet undefeated, stitched together by a year of profound growth and metamorphosis. I'm eagerly awaiting the astonishing unpredictability of the journey ahead, ready to unfold another chapter of this ever-evolving narrative.